


Would You Like Fries With That?

by syrupish



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-05-14 06:52:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19268038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syrupish/pseuds/syrupish
Summary: Channel Ten is doing a documentary that follows the daily experiences of your local, understaffed McDonald's Graveyard Shift employees.OR:Why haven't they fired Son Hyejoo?





	1. soundcloud.com/parkchaewon

**Author's Note:**

> ANOTHER fic to update slowly? You betcha   
> (this isnt edited yeet yeet)

It's halfway through the night shift when I'm first introduced to the girls. I use introduced loosely because I received no actual introduction, but was instead the witness of multiple questionable scenarios.

The graveyard shift is a group of big names -- locally anyway. 

Kim Jiwoo is the first person I encounter. She's at front of house as the only working cashier. I was warned about her smile by a local librarian, and I wonder how many people she's conned with it. Her tag says "Jiwooming," although the 'ing,' is clearly not part of the badge, rather three words written on a piece of paper and taped onto her uniform. She immediately tries to sell me a quarter pounder and when I explain that I'm with channel ten, working on a documentary series, she asks if I want a drink with my order. It's hard to refuse when she smiles so insistently and I find myself buying a meal despite the fact that I had no intentions of doing so in the first place. 

Ha Sooyoung 'works' at the back of the house as a cook. She's easily recognisable as that one model from that one advertisement, or alternatively as 'Yves,' on Instagram, which she tells me as soon as I enter the store. She's prettier in person than she is online, but much scarier too. She holds her head high and her back straight in a way that would be intimidating if her bones didn't crack when she informed me she was the assistant manager.

If you take a peek at the back, you might be able to see a very tall, dark-haired girl, and when she eventually moves to the side, you could even be lucky enough to spot a bit of blonde hair from her much shorter co-worker.

The tall one is Son Hyejoo, or so I was told by Jiwoo. She's been working at McDonalds for the shortest amount of time out of everyone from the graveyard shift crew, but from the way she so comfortably sleeps on the drive-thru window, it would be easy to confuse her as the store-owner's daughter or some other unpunishable position. She doesn't say much, to the customers or in general, though her sharp glare works wonders on silencing the not-quite-drunk passer-byers.

Her small friend is Park Chaewon, who I have been informed is banned from the kitchen, banned from the cash registers, banned from speaking to customers, and banned from using the toilet more than twelve times in a single shift. When I asked why, all I got in response was nervous laughter and an awkward pat on the back from Sooyoung. You might recognise Chaewon's name from the time before Vine was dead. She's moved onto Youtube, as most Viners did, and I haven't seen her do anything during her shift other than vlog. I suppose that might be a good thing, or else nobody would believe the things I documented later into the night when things became hectic.

The mess begins at 1am. Chaewon has completely given up on even pretending to work, and is sitting at a table, laughing at memes on her phone. The place is relatively empty, with only six sitting customers; three of which arrived in a group.

The silence could only last so long.

It started out innocently enough, a lady enters the McDonalds and requests a Pumpkin Freeze McFlurry, which I am certain contained absolutely no actual pumpkins. Jiwoo tells her with the most sincere looking smile that anybody in fast-food can muster and tells her that unfortunately, Pumpkin Freeze McFlurries were a Halloween special and are no longer being served, seeing as we were well into the first week of November.

The lady overreacts as most entitled middle-aged fast-food goers do. She slams her hands on the counter and demands a Pumpkin Freeze McFlurry, and when Jiwoo reiterates again that they are no longer being served, the lady demands to see the manager.

I'm mildly impressed at the fact that Chaewon's eyes have not yet left her phone despite the irritatingly loud argument that her co-worker is having with a demanding customer, though I'm more impressed at the fact that Jiwoo's smile has not yet left her face. 

Jiwoo says sure and collects Sooyoung from the kitchen. The older girl is blatantly bored and her smile looks just about as forced as the fun, family-friendly service at Friday's.

"Can I help you?" Sooyoung asks, and I can see immediately that it's the wrong thing to say. The lady appears to lose what's left of her dignity (and sanity) and attempts to push the napkin dispensers to the floor, before realising that they were nailed to the countertop. As soon as she learns this, she has a plastic knife in her hands, her aim switching between Jiwoo and Sooyoung.

I was worriedly expecting some sort of showdown that would inevitably end in Jiwoo's death seeing as she appeared to have very little sense of survival (then again, so did Sooyoung and Chaewon), but the scuffle ended it the most anti-climatic way possible. 

The knife has disappeared from the lady's grip, and the whole store watches as Chaewon strolls past casually, a plastic knife cleaning pieces of lettuce that were stuck between her teeth.

I'm speechless to say the least, and wholly regret not filming from the beginning, but the whole scene was so laughably bizarre, I found myself hoping that at least one of the other shifts would maintain some semblance of calm.

\---

I'm finally allowed to have a look at the back at around 3am, and I'm curious to see what action unfolds behind the scenes, though I'm more curious about meeting Hyejoo.

The sight at the kitchen is terrifying. 

There is lettuce everywhere on the floor, and the oil splatters around the vicinity of the friers. It's quite obvious that whatever Sooyoung does at the back is not cleaning. There is a small pyramid with twelve pre-made burgers on it, and when I ask Sooyoung why she doesn't just wrap them up and have them ready for Jiwoo, she says that it's so the customers can wait a little and feel like their food might actually be made fresh. 

The burgers don't taste half bad, but are lukewarm at best, so I stick them into the toaster oven at Sooyoung's suggestion and ask her how she became a McDonald's cook in the first place. 

Ha Sooyoung was an aspiring model who wanted to work in fashion, but ended up working at McDonald's because they texted the wrong number about being hired and she wanted the money. She showed no apparent remorse about essentially stealing a job intended for another person, and says that it was fate. 

When I ask her about her cooking skills she explains that she's only ever had to cook thrice in her job so far, because whoever the cook was for the shift before has no sense of moderation and overcooks every day. 

It's baffling to me that an entire six-hour shift can pass without any cooking being done, but when I see the clear disinterest in the eyes of three-quarters of the employees, I'm a little relieved. 

I pass by Hyejoo on the way to the front of the shop. Her hair is completely out, breaking uniform violations, but seeing as she was playing Zelda on her Switch when I walk by, it's clear she doesn't really care too much. She doesn't bother saying bye to me when I leave, and I wonder as I pack my camera, if she will say anything in the documentary at all.

\------

The next event occurs when the shift is about to end. The thought of the situation is enough to have me reconsider the documentary series completely, but it's also what has me sure that the audience will be interested.

It's 4:30am, and the store has reached a state of complete silence, with no customers except for ones that enter through the Drive Thru. Sooyoung has returned to the back, and I noticed that despite being banned from the kitchen, Chaewon follows her.

We hear the screams before we smell the smoke.

The kitchen bin is on fire.

There's no telling how it happened or who was responsible for it. But it's consumed by hot, red flames that threaten to lick the business to the ground. Jiwoo is of no help, her smile was wiped from her face for the first time that night and was replaced with a look of sheer terror, accompanied by shrill screeching. Hyejoo takes on look at the scene, and promptly exits, making sure to leave her apron on the hook.

Sooyoung was somewhere in the back of the room, using all of strength and intelligence to figure out how to unhook the Fire Extinguisher from the wall. And then it happens.

"Water!" Chaewon explains, diving past the countertops and food shelves to grab Sooyoung's bag, yanking a plastic bottle from inside and sprinting back to the growing trash-can fire.

"Why isn't the fire alarm turning on?!" Jiwoo screeches, pressing herself against a wall.

"Hyejoo broke it!" Sooyoung blurted out, "but I promised not to say anything so she wouldn't tell anyone she caught me watching porn on the clock! I didn't report it either!" Panic is clear on her face, and her eye's catch the bottle in Chaewon's hand one second too late. "Chaewon--"

The blonde girl had emptied the liquid onto the flame in one swift move.

The fire had grown in size and spit at us aggressively. The strong scent of Vodka stung our nostrils and the burnt paper had begun to spill over the kitchen tiles.

The screaming was louder, and Jiwoo, Sooyoung and Chaewon had thrown out all hope of extinguishing the flame, heading straight for the door.

In the chaos, nobody had noticed the hesitant drops of water that rained on their heads, until everyone was drenched from the sudden indoor rainfall. The sprinklers had finally turned on, although the smoke detector that should have triggered rested unbothered on the wall.

Hyejoo strolled in a second later, milkshake in hand. "You're welcome," she says smugly, "There's customers waiting to be served."

Jiwoo adjusts her bow and takes her place back behind the cash register, doing her best to fix her haggard appearance.

Sooyoung looked to have aged 50 years during the commotion, and Chaewon didn't look much better than a zombie.

"I can't believe you drink Vodka at work," Chaewon muttered, giving Sooyoung the stink eye.

The assistant manager didn't reply, instead kicking the bin lightly and sighing at the scorch marks left on the floor. "We need a new trashcan, but I'm so tired."

"That's the morning shift's problem," Chaewon declares with finality, leaving the room with a phone in her hand.


	2. @WINTERSYVES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s me, ya gal SlowUpdates! (apparently) i enjoyed brackets a lot (maybe too much) while writing this chapter (oops?)
> 
> thanks for the kudos and comments in the last chapter im not sure why y'all did that but i appreciated them and i appreciate everyone who reads through this. 
> 
> also this chapter is hardly edited, I'm sorry!!!

When I return to McDonald’s two days later, armed with cameramen, and working mics, I’m surprised to find the place completely empty. Jiwoo stands behind the counter like she did the first time I visited, though her face is lacking the blinding smile I had gotten used to. Chaewon is taking a nap on one of the bright red sofa seats, phone cradled against her chest like it was some sort of treasure. The other two girls are nowhere to be seen, and I’m left to assume that they’re somewhere in the back, probably not cooking. One of the cameramen, Roderick, shoots me a look, clearly wondering where the drama I promised the network was. The other cameraman, Burt, is simply excited to be here. It's his first day; wish him luck.

 

The scene is so jarring that for a moment I consider that I may have hallucinated the entire first encounter. 

 

“Welcome,” Jiwo sighs, leaning against the front counter and resting her face against her palm. She greets the cameramen and I with a stiff and lifeless, “what do you want?”

 

For the next hour or so I sit on one of the chairs and wait in near suffocating silence as absolutely nothing happens. 

 

Roderick, has already fallen asleep in one of the cheap, white, plastic chairs, while Burt diligently films the place, acting as if he isn’t dying of complete boredom.

 

Five minutes to the next hour when I finally snap and ask why the place is so empty.

 

As if summoned by a spell, or magic word, Sooyoung bursts out of the back.

 

Her hair is untied, and I’m sure that the dangling charms of the gold bracelet on her wrist are some sort of health and safety violation, especially as they jingle cantankerously like a cowbell. 

 

She places her hands on her hips and looks to the side dramatically. “You want to know why we’re so fucking empty?!” 

 

Her exclamation startles Chaewon out of sleep, and the blonde sits up instantly, slamming her forehead against the edge of an unwiped table. “Shit!”

 

“No swearing,” Jiwoo says, sounding exhausted. She’s a wilting flower, and I wonder if she thrives from attention in the same way that fairies do in Peter Pan. (She’ll die if people don’t clap for her.)

 

Sooyoung looks mildly irritated with their interruption and strides closer to the camera (Burt’s camera, because I’m not quite sure Roderick isn’t dead, he’s been sleeping so still and silently the last two hours.) “It’s because of them!” She points, using her whole body, an accusatory finger directed at the burger joint across the street with flashing lights and a line that exceeds a block.

 

‘Burger joint’ is a generous description, because the place is about the size of a shack, has no seating, and miraculously; has fewer workers than McDonald’s. 

 

Maybe I should have chosen to film them?

 

“That would be Soul Burger,” Sooyoung says, sounding almost despondent. She shakes her head when she speaks their name, and a frown settles on her face as she watches the multicoloured bulbs (are they using Christmas lights?)  of their little burger joint flicker. “Fucking bitches.”

 

Soul Burgers, according to Jiwoo, is only open three days a week, and on all of those three days, they steal the customers of every surrounding food place. Chaewon seems pretty happy with this lack of work, but I don’t call her out in fear that Sooyoung will murder both of us in competitive rage.

 

“Every Monday, Thursday, and Sunday night, they open up and steal our hard-earned customers,” Jiwoo sighs, earning a protest from Chaewon ( _I’ve never worked hard in my life, never insinuate that again!_ )

 

“It’s because they’ve never given anyone food poisoning,” Chaewon says, and I find it easy to believe her. My eyes trail back to the kitchen, where burn marks are still prominent on the floor, peeking out from underneath the kitchen door that hid most of the store’s disaster.

 

Jiwoo looks affronted. “We’ve never given anyone food poisoning either?”

 

Chaewon has the decency to at least look guilty.

 

“They act so perfectly perfect it pisses me the fuck off! I know they have a shady secret! _”_   (Ten guesses who said that)

 

It’s at this point of the night that chaos begins to brew.

 

The four of them huddle in the back, Hyejoo appearing less than interested, but still listening. Burt and I watch them from beside the stove, leaving Roderick to sleep in the dining area. 

 

I’m not sure if it was Sooyoung or Chaewon who instigated the concoction of the plan, even when I watch the tape back, but I know for a fact that Jiwoo was more an enabler than a leader, and Hyejoo was present physically, but not mentally. Either way, I find myself dressed in all black, following Sooyoung to Soul Burger.

 

The Plan:

  1. Jiwoo buys 2 Rainbow Burger meals with a strawberry milkshake, and a diet coke. One Spicy Chicken Burger with mountain dew. One Kids Snappy Meal with apple juice (race car toy for Burt), and a large Blue Betta Burger because everyone was _starving_ , but nobody can cook. We didn't wake Roderick to ask for his order, so we all silently hoped he would wake up _after_ we ate.
  2. Hyejoo and Chaewon cause a distraction so nobody notices step three
  3. Sooyoung breaks into the back and steals their secret recipe (Plankton?? Is that you?)
  4. All while Roderick “keeps watch” in McDonald's.



 

(The burgers are _amazing)_

 

I follow Sooyoung with a hand-held camera while Burt accompanies Jiwoo to complete our orders and I’m sort of wishing we switched because I know that whatever Sooyoung does will require a higher quality capture than ordering for six people, but it’s too late.

 

Sooyoung trips twice while crossing the road (who wears heels to work?) but is smooth enough to catch herself and pass the stumbles off as poses. She’s a pretty good model, and I’m starting to understand the reason why she has so many followers, besides her eyes, her nose, her mouth (her _smile_ ), and her fashion.

 

She breaks into the back like an expert, explaining how she would sometimes steal from the rich, old, men near her apartment. She tells me it’s better if they’re old because it’s harder for them to see or hear her taking their tv. Their TV. Their whole ass television -- _she went into people’s houses and nobody noticed her drag their tv out of the house._

 

I ask her what she does with the money, but she simply holds a finger against her lip and winks. I think my heart stuttered.

 

Soul Burger’s kitchen is _immaculate_. There isn’t a single piece of lettuce on the floor, and every countertop looks wiped down with cleaning liquid, and not just water. 

 

Soul Burger’s kitchen is also tiny. As soon as the back door swings open, three pairs of eyes stare straight at Sooyoung. 

 

Isn’t this an inconvenient time for Hyejoo and Chaewon to not show up and be distractions like they were meant to be.

 

“What the fuck?” This expletive comes from a wavy-haired blonde whose hair is dry enough to be brittle, but I admire the fact that it’s up in a bun and held out of her face with a hairnet while she handles patties. I don’t think Sooyoung even knows where to get hairnets. Her tag clearly reads ‘JinSOUL.’

 

The wide-eyed brunette beside her (‘Yerim’)  makes a face before continuing to serve customers, as if having a rival worker break into the shack where she works is mundane. The straight-haired blonde (‘Jungeun’) doesn’t even bat an eye, too busy smiling down at the customers as she takes there orders, one hand typing on the cash register, while the other clutches cleaning liquid tightly. 

 

“Shut up!” Sooyoung hisses. I’m not sure why she’s trying to whisper when the place is small enough everyone will hear her as if she’s yelling anyway. “I’m here for something so if you just hand it over, nobody has to get hurt.”

 

Jinsoul is either eager to die, or an awful listener because her response to the threat is; “woah you’re like, super pretty.” 

 

“Thank you,” Sooyoung smiles. “Give us your secret recipe.”

 

Jinsoul pretty confused, and by the time Sooyoung has repeated her request for the fourth time, all her hate-fuel seems to have burned out. 

 

“Oh. You mean you want to know how the burgers are made?”

 

When Sooyoung nods aggressively, Jinsoul just laughs. “Actually, I stole this recipe from McDonald’s back when I worked there.”

 

I gasp at the plot twist, the camera focused on Sooyoung’s face of outrage.

 

“Untrue!” Sooyoung denies. “Explain how our burgers taste like shit then!” I'm certain its because they're served re-heated, and with little care, but I'm also not willing to interrupt an obviously irritated Sooyoung.

 

Whether Jinsoul was going to answer or not, nobody will ever know, because at that moment a fat, brown cockroach scuttled over Sooyoung’s heeled boots, and everyone begins screaming. 

 

“This is a health and safety violation!” I’m not sure if I should laugh because coming from Sooyoung that comment meant shit, but also there was a roach just crawling around and I sort of just wanted to not be there.

 

Yerim is on all fours, trying to capture it with her bare hands like a heathen. “He’s trained!” She yells. She keeps repeating it like a mantra. “He’s trained! Calm down, he’s trained!”

 

Jungeun on the other hand already has a bottle of bug spray in her hands and is in the process of gassing everyone inside the shack to death. “Yerim I told you not to bring your pets to work!”

 

“He gets lonely!” Yerim looks ready to cry as Jungeun sprays another spritz, lunging across the room to protect her pet from her co-worker.

 

In the panic, someone slams against a shelf and a jar smashes against the ground, shattering into a dozen pieces, and releasing four more roaches. The camera has disappeared in the chaos and Sooyoung is laughing maniacally at the series of events while Yerim cries and the other two shriek.

 

“I FUCKING KNEW Y’ALL WEREN’T PERFECT!” Sooyoung screams, “YOU WERE COOKING ROACHES THE WHOLE TIME!”

 

Her accusation is less than quiet, because the customers outside begin to panic, (A roach! Disgusting! // I’d still eat it, to be honest // A boat? Did she say a boat?) but nobody can refute it because they’re all struggling to breathe through the thick fog of bug spray.

 

The five of us tumble out of the shack unceremoniously, coughing and gagging.

 

“Ladies and others. Gowon.” 

 

I look up, wishing I hadn’t lost the camera, because in front of the shack was Chaewon in six-inch stilettos, wearing sunglasses too big for her face, a bedazzled mic in hand. There's a bright red mark on her forehead from where she slammed it against the table earlier that somehow adds to the look rather than redact from it. 

Hyejoo for once looks excited, and I can tell from the way she actually bothered introducing Chaewon that she’s sort of excited for what’s coming. Instantly, I’m filled with fear.

 

“Follow Gowon on Instagram and Tiktok as Park Chaewon, no spaces, i-e. ParkChaewonie.”

 

The music that follows the introduction is deafening, but I’m pleasantly surprised by the fact that Chaewon is a decent rapper. She's singing an original, apparently available for streaming on her Soundcloud.

The customers in the line are understandably confused; their orders aren’t being taken, it smells like death, they might be eating roaches, and now a hobbit in heels was rapping at them. It might have been a fine day, an interesting one even -- if the fireworks didn’t fail. 

 

The miniature fireworks were small enough not to be noticed, amongst the glamour that was Chaewon, and clearly not anything standard or store-bought. They exploded in a bang like muted gunshots, and the sound was enough to have people scatter. The way they were set up flat against the ground, caused them to shoot out like sparkling bullets towards the innocent civilians who probably just wanted some damn dinner.

 

Suffice to say, nobody stayed.

 

It was silent until the smoke cleared. 

 

Jungeun stands, weight shifted to one side, an arm to her side, eyebrow cocked looking totally unimpressed, while Chaewon and Hyejoo look far too satisfied at the damage they’ve caused. And Jiwoo… Jiwoo has an arm looped around a tall, pretty brunette while Burt films them with hearts in his eyes as if he’s watching his daughter fall in love for the first time. 

 

“This is Doyeon,” Jiwoo says, cutting through the tense atmosphere with a blunt butter knife. “We have a date so we’re gonna go. Burt’s coming with us.”

 

* * *

 

In the end, Jinsoul promised not to sue, despite the property damage, the genuine threat against her life, and the defamation she’s experienced. She seems pretty relaxed about the whole thing and says something about the importance of trying new things.

 

And then she offers to work for the McDonald’s night shift.

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“No, really, you’re so understaffed, we wouldn’t mind.”

 

“No really, _fuck off_.”

 

Jinsoul nods in understanding, handing Sooyoung a card before she leaves. “In case you need our help in the future.”

 

Sooyoung splutters. “I don’t need to know where Soul Burgers is; i _t’s across the road!”_

 

“You might forget!”

 

With that, she’s returned to her burger shack, followed by an exhausted-looking Jungeun, and Yerim who’s holding four roaches tenderly in her hands. The place, while small and shack-like before, was sporting some new scorch marks, and a dent on the lower right side that made it look somewhat depressing.

 

It's a miracle that this altercation didn't lead to court, but even more so that no police arrived despite the public disturbance caused.

* * *

 

**Solo Interview: Sooyoung**

“There’ll be more than one camera, right?” Sooyoung asks, “I want my angles captured.”

 

She beams when I tell her there are three. I feel sort of bad for lying, but there was meant to be three. Poor Roderick, bless his heart, had choked on his tongue yesterday in his sleep and was… No longer with us.

 

I ask her why and how she began working for McDonald's, and she tells me she’s been here for almost four years. She almost hates it, but she needs two jobs so she can afford her to start her career as a model. The few sporadic gigs she gets aren’t enough to pay for rent.

 

When I ask her if her parents; well-known local lawyers help her out, and she goes silent quickly. I make sure not to ask about them again. 

 

“I was the first one here,” she explains, “then Chaewon joined, but then she left and Jiwoo joined. Chaewon came back, and three months ago we got Hyejoo when three girls quit.”

 

“Why’d they quit?”

 

“College.”

 

“Have you ever thought of quitting?”

 

Sooyoung’s response is a quiet, tired admission. “I can’t afford to quit.”

 

* * *

 

 

“How was the date?”

Jiwoo hummed, stirring her Fanta with a yellow-striped straw. Her eyes flickered to Sooyoung, a hint of a smile making its way to her face. “Could've been better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A crumb for Chuuves shippers!
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed the OEC Soul Burgers cast bc they're coming back. I'm trying to introduce recurring characters slowly, so you'll see Yeojin 1/3 in this fic too, though it will focus on yyxy.
> 
> Also no! You aren't going mad! That is a teaspoon of plot backstory in Sooyoung's interview. I know this seems like a plotless mess and for the most part it is BUT it does have direction I promise. Every graveyard shift employee has a reason for being where and who they are currently so maybe stick around to find out?
> 
> Also I'm not very funny but im trying thank.

**Author's Note:**

> read my other loona fic "beyond the veil" or ill eat ur knee caps (no i wont i hate bones)


End file.
